“You have to understand that it was not my intention to become “an extremist” in the beginning. Like I told you, I just wanted to find my ideal woman, my Baltic Bride. Why Baltic, you ask. Well, because my colleague Carlos, head of another department in my ministry, said that the most beautiful women in the world live in Estonia.

As I understand it, extremism means violence and is the same as terrorism, and when you look at me, what do you see? A simple Portuguese man, middle-aged, with a slightly bulging belly and a slightly balding head, but still reasonably handsome, with a good butt (many women have said so!) and a nice smile. The friends of my sister (whom I have all dated, by the way) even say that I’m very handsome. But I don’t like to boast. Let’s say that I’m medium-handsome. An extremist, a terrorist, head man of the group that was planning coup d’état? That’s what all the papers of Estonia called me before the trial – no doubt with an intent to influence it!

Come on! You can see from the description I just gave you that it can’t be true!”